Can’t Read the Leaves!

leavesI keep up with my horoscope, read my own palm AND tea leaves, plus I have a degree in crystal ball reading. Still, the future of my finances remains clouded. How can this be? I could use my innate power to communicate with trees, but they don’t often have anything useful to say on the future. They’re more concerned with the present, y’know?

All I’d like to know is if my house offer will go through. What with Melbourne and their property transfer people helping me with the process you’d think it was a given. I’ve been to so many meetings, learned all about vendors statements, and that’s not even counting all the open houses I’ve visited. So many lovely homes, but I could only choose one. The dragon knucklebones I consulted lead me to a lovely little two-bedroom house in the North, complete with patio and gravel driveway. The feng-shui in the place was very much on point, so I thought it was perfect. Transfer that property at once! But it’s a hot property, and they’ve had other offers. I know that’s how the game works, and I’m not the only person in Melbourne looking for a house, but it’s the uncertainty that really gets me. Usually I can just peek in the crystal ball and make contingency plans, but it’s not working right now. I’m not used to NOT knowing, which I’m sure is something you can understand. It’s so nice going through life and being able to just read a person’s aura to see if you’re going to be friends, or seeing if your property transfer is going through simply be channeling reiki into one of my special qi bowls. Why do things have to be so clouded? Maybe it’s just always this way with housing. It’s a dynamic market, things change all the time…and people work as property conveyancers in Melbourne all the time, doing this stuff! And most of them don’t even know how to channel reiki. I admire that.

Phrenology isn’t quite as defunct as the masses believe. Prunes will open your third eye, and possibly a fourth if many are consumed. The luckiest number is infinity +1, because it beats everything.