All my life, I have strived to be a staunch naturalist. What I mean by that, is that I have never subscribed to the modern premise of capitalism. I have always tried to live off the land – use that which I can grow myself and or can pay for through trade with others. Perhaps living in the country helped further this agenda, but it’s impossible to know for sure. All I do know, was that I had reached a pinnacle of contentment – that I was complete and fulfilled within myself.
That changed when Karen left. I knew that I was quite a lot older than her, but I also believed, falsely, that we shared a real love. She ran off with a man I hadn’t seen since university who had unexpectedly walked into one of my classes about six months beforehand. Naturally, I was devastated, but in retrospect, I handled it poorly. I decided to fill the void with an Alfa Romeo. Little did I know that an Alfa Romeo would not service my soul.
It wasn’t just the Alfa. I moved to the city, abandoning my small farm in the country. I used the savings I had amassed from an early success in my youth to fund a spiral of consumer-driven madness. I lived in an apartment in the city, owned too many objects that had no value other than their price tag. Perhaps, in a distant part of my suppressed subconscious, I knew that I was receiving none of the spiritual nourishment I so desperately craved, but as was now my habit, I ignored it, and focused instead on my Alfa. The Romeo restoration project I had embarked on became an all-consuming obsession. It occupied hours of my time and hundreds of my dollars.
Now I have moved back to my home, my true home, in the bush. It’s a safe place, where I can pick up the pieces of my shattered psyche. However, I find myself at a loss as for how to accomplish such a feat. How does one return to their lost selves after such a cataclysmic and fundamental change to their life?
Take a chance on the wind and let it carry you away, to a better life and a better tomorrow.