My love is gone and I’m devastated that I won’t be able to talk to him anymore. I can still see his face, it haunts me in my waking and dreaming life. I can still see his smile and it makes me weep with longing every single day. I hope that I can soothe his spirit, I hope that he is happy in the afterlife. I sincerely hope that I can get through the next few days without falling apart. It’s difficult going to the funeral home, Perth streets seem so much emptier without my love by my side.
I have heard only good things about their service, and those good things are what I need to hold on to. That was my man, I’ll never see again and it breaks my heart. All I can hear are the condolences of people that are think they are his friends, but they are not.
I need to start thinking about cremations, Perth family members have been helping me as much as the can but the decision is mine alone. I’m glad for their company, at least. I don’t want to be alone in this world, I can’t be with him yet. I wish that I could see him one last time, whether it be here or in the next life. I plead with a higher power, don’t take him away forever. I will do anything to make it happen and I don’t care what I have to sacrifice. I don’t care that there isn’t anything that I can really do, because I just want to get the healing started.
I hope that the funeral helps me farewell my love. I am pretty sure that it shouldn’t be too long before I’m paralysed with grief, I fear that day. I don’t really want that to happen, to fall apart, but I have been told by a few people that they will help me as best they can. I think it best if I get myself ready for that event. It will be the easiest thing in the world to just forget about moving on; pay for the funerals, and just move on with my life, but I’m not ready. I don’t want to move on, I keep looking back.