My Poor Memory for Names

cluelessI struggle at work, constantly. See, my short-term memory isn’t all that it used to be. I think that emu racing accident really did something to my mind, which would also explain the dizzy spells and desire to eat spinach for every meal. Spinach, really? I suppose it IS full of iron, so maybe that’s my body telling me that I need to eat more healthy meals. Wholemeal bread is just…

Well, anyway. I’m bad with names. As in, awfully, terribly, soul-crushingly bad with names. I’ve been campaigning for corporate name badges, but it doesn’t really seem to be working all that well so far. It’s like everyone in the office just remembers each other’s names! Which is probably what happens. None of them have had tragic emu-related accidents like I have, so that must be it. Whereas I’m here, struggling to remember the name of the guy sitting next to me right now, and I’ve known him for three years! It’s Jeremy, or Jimmy, or…Pierre? Samuel…you see my problem.

The only people in this building who have name tags are the receptionists, and they’re too small for me to recognise from a distance. Basically, I’m reduced to going right up to them (and by that time I’ve already said hello) and trying to read their name tag while engaging them in small talk. I’m terrible at small talk at the best of times, but trying to do so while scanning their name tags is just distracting. Come to think of it, I may also be struggling with multitasking a little bit more than I used to. Sometimes I just have to stop walking, because I’ve stopped breathing. Sometimes doing those two at the same time is really hard, y’know?

So, uh…oh yes, name tags! Surely some local Australia name badges will suit my needs. I just need a good way to introduce them without revealing my mental instability.

The stars predict that regular Lindy-Hop lessons will open your eyes! Beware of those who believe Jason Bourne is superior to James Bond. Your lucky number is C3-P0. – Joanne